Get Wisdom | A Series in the Book of Proverbs | Conflict

“There is no immunity from conflict. It gets us all in the end. Its targets are wide, its pains prolonged. Arguments, aggression, even complete relationship breakdown can happen to anyone. Regardless of the deftness we normally bring to our relationships, when conflict surfaces its power to overwhelm us can be deeply perplexing.”
— Michael Lawson

The Bible places a high-value on something counter-cultural: Maintaining relational peace with others.

Proverbs 15:16-17, 16:8, 32, 17:1, 21:9, 19 // Romans 12:17-18

Principles for Handling Conflict Wisely:

1) Ask the Lord to make you an expert on your own weaknesses and shortcomings. This breeds a posture of humility in dealing with others.

Proverbs 12:15, 16:2, 18:17, 21:2, 30:12 // James 1:19 // Psalm 139:23-24 // Proverbs 15:1

“If someone is criticizing you and the criticism is mostly mistaken, identify the 10 percent of the indictment that is fair. Without excuse be willing to take it to heart. The strongest Christians are the ones most willing to repent.” — Tim Keller

2) Understand that all conflict is fueled by sin. Often times, your own. This is a problem between you and God, before anyone else.

Proverbs 14:21, 17:19, 22:10, 26:20-21 // James 4:1-2a // Matthew 5:23-24

3) Always give grace and benefit of the doubt. Relationships between fellow sinners are just messy.

Proverbs 17:9, 19:11, 24:29 // Colossians 3:12-13

4) Don’t hesitate to get help if and when necessary, from trustworthy counselors. 

Proverbs 13:20 // Matthew 18:15-17 // 1 Corinthians 6:5

In love, Christ went to the greatest lengths imaginable to reconcile the conflict we sinfully created with God; so, in light of the gospel, there should be virtually nothing that would hinder Christians from settling their lesser conflicts.